Dear Future Girlfriend, I know it sounds a bit cliché but I really want to take you out on a Disney date one day. Hand in hand, side by side, just you and me. We could start in Downtown Disney and I’ll buy us Mickey & Minnie ears so we could resemble Disney’s sweethearts. I’ll hold your hand and walk you down Main Street and let all the bystanders know that you’re mine. We could take the Monorail to my favorite spot, the New Orleans Square, and take a trip over the Rivers of America. I’ll take you to the highest floor on the Mark Twain Riverboat. There, I’ll hum a tune to your favorite song, or even better, our song, while we stand over the river. You’ll lean back onto my body as I hold you by your waist. We can just enjoy this moment until the boat docks. Once we get off, I’ll pick you up and give you a piggy back ride all the way to the Big Thunder Mt. Railroad. Surely, there’s going to be a long line, but it’s okay. As long as I’m waiting with you, I wouldn’t mind being patient. When the time comes, and it’s our turn to get strapped in, I’ll get ready to pick a laugh at you. You’ll probably be screaming your guts out, and I’m just going to sit there and laugh my butt off. After hours and hours of back to back rides, the sun will start to fall, lights will begin to dim and slowly, the park’s lamps will light up. As the California air breezes by and you begin to shiver, I’ll be a gentleman and let you wear my jacket. I’ll wrap my arm around you and we’ll walk to one of the most romantic places to eat in the world. I’ll take you to the Napa Rose in the Grand Californian. “Table for two?” is all you’ll hear before I pull out your seat. It’s just you and me, just like it’s been the entire date so far. We can have hot chocolate while we tell each other stories of our childhood. We can talk about anything. When it’s time to eat, I’ll let you order whatever you want on the menu. But, I’m going to ask for Veal Filet with the Apricot Chutney. With that dish, I’ll be able to cut and feed you. Oh and I promise, you can order whatever. It’s on me! After we’re done eating and we’ve gone through dessert, I’ll take you outside to a bench somewhere in front of the park. I’ll sit down with you, and get real close so we can be nice and toasty in the coldness of the air. Then, I’ll admire you and look at you in the eyes. I’ll tell you all the reasons I wake up for you. I’ll let you know every bit of what you mean to me. I’ll make sure I get down on one knee and tell you why you should be in my life from this moment and onto forever. I’ll take out this little box that I spent so many days, weeks, and months working to afford. I’ll open up the case, your eyes will look down on me, and I’ll ask you these five faithful words, “Babe, will you marry me?” Hopefully, you say yes. Once you do, I’ll slide the ring onto your finger, get up, and slowly lean into your kiss. With that being said, this will forever be my idea of a perfect date. Then again, anywhere with you would probably be more than lovely.
Your Future Boyfriend
The monorail doesn’t stop in New Orleans asshole.